God doesn't always give you the people you want in life, He gives you the people you need. His reasons are to help you, to hurt you, to leave you and to love you. Why…to make you into the person you were meant to be. He wants you to live life to the fullest, to excel above expectations, to shine in the darkest of places where it is impossible to love and to walk with HIM always.
As great spirits collide like supernovas in the heavens, He abundantly blesses and rewards us with serendipitous encounters. Not only am I a firm believer in God’s blessings, I am a firm believer in giving thanks, too. Recently, I encountered someone who introduced me to a magazine editor. Please visit www.jadoremag.com to see the results of my serendipitous encounter.
Thank you Mr. Harris, thank you Ms. Leslie and thank you God for the blessings…
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Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The Moments in Between
We always remember the holidays, graduation day, our wedding day and the birth of a child -- all significant events in life, but what about the moments in between? The moments in the midst of our seemingly ordinary happenings that we give little, if any attention…sipping morning coffee, brushing our teeth, the drive to our place of employment, listening to the radio or sitting quietly. These moments may not appear to hold any significant value, as they are tasks we do out of habit or necessity.
Unfortunately, when overlooking the mundane, we often miss divine inspiration. If we stop for a moment and think about it, some of the most treasured inspirations and signs from above happen during the moments in between. Frequently, our search for the significant causes us to overlook the little things in life that can, on more occasions than not, give us the answers in which we are seeking.
Do pay closer attention to the little things in life, because your much needed signs and answers will be experienced during the moments in between.
This week’s blog is dedicated to Mama Cochran…thanks for sharing a wonderful moment in between and inspiring me!!!
Unfortunately, when overlooking the mundane, we often miss divine inspiration. If we stop for a moment and think about it, some of the most treasured inspirations and signs from above happen during the moments in between. Frequently, our search for the significant causes us to overlook the little things in life that can, on more occasions than not, give us the answers in which we are seeking.
Do pay closer attention to the little things in life, because your much needed signs and answers will be experienced during the moments in between.
This week’s blog is dedicated to Mama Cochran…thanks for sharing a wonderful moment in between and inspiring me!!!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Forgiveness, Grudges and Releasing the Victim Syndrome
Your view of the world around you is a reflection of the world you have created within. The world you experience is an extension of your mind. Any level of peace or stress you experience, is directly related to the level of peace or stress or within your mind. If you are at peace with yourself, the world will appear peaceful. Keeping this in mind, forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve made, knowing that you are no longer what you were in the past. Every moment, there is a new you born and you are living in this moment with a new you.
Forgive others and you will set yourself free from all you thought they did to you. In fact, they need not ask for forgiveness to be forgiven. They might even believe that there is nothing for which they need to be forgiven. Do not concern yourself with how they choose to experience reality, for it has no effect on you, unless you allow it. For something or someone to affect you, you must first allow it to affect you.
You can also choose not to forgive, but what good has such behavior ever brought to your life? You might be trying to consciously or even unconsciously punish someone by not forgiving him or her. Who are you really punishing? Who’s carrying that judgment around? You might not consciously recall that you are carrying judgment, but it is simmering below the surface, coloring everything and everyone with whom you interact. Little by little, judgments add up and weigh you down. You’re quick to anger, feel tired and stressed and may not understand why. Comments to others may become nasty and your patience fades. This is a result of your attempt to punish and not forgive. Think about it…who are you really punishing?
To paraphrase Max Lucado, "Anger is a predictable emotion, an irritant, a frustration, and an aggravation? Someone gets your parking place. Someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. A waitress is slow and you are in a hurry. The toast burns. Before you know it, little irritations turn into rage, revenge, bitterness and hatred. We trust no one and bare our teeth at anyone who gets near. Is that any way to live? What good has hatred ever brought? What hope has anger ever created? What problems have ever been resolved by revenge?"
What has a grudge ever resolved? In most cases, grudges become the focus and hinder you from living life to the fullest! Recognize who is being hurt by your grudge and non-forgiveness. Does the other person burn with your anger, feel the knot in your stomach, experience the recycling of your thoughts as you re-experience the events in your mind? Do they stay awake as you rehearse in your mind what you would like to say or do to 'punish' them? No…the pain is all yours!
Knowing 'why' is not the prerequisite to forgiveness. Knowing why the behavior happened will not lessen the pain, because the pain came at a time when you did not know why. Occasionally there are times when knowing why makes forgiveness unnecessary, but they are rare.
A solution to consider…make a list of what was actually done that caused your pain; not what you felt was done. Acknowledge your part. Were you honest about your hurt or did you hide the fact that the behavior hurt you? Did you seek peace by reassuring the perpetrator that it was all right? Did you stay when you or should have gone? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, acknowledge your behavior and take responsibility for the ramifications of your actions.
Congratulations! You took the first step to stop being a victim!
Forgive others and you will set yourself free from all you thought they did to you. In fact, they need not ask for forgiveness to be forgiven. They might even believe that there is nothing for which they need to be forgiven. Do not concern yourself with how they choose to experience reality, for it has no effect on you, unless you allow it. For something or someone to affect you, you must first allow it to affect you.
You can also choose not to forgive, but what good has such behavior ever brought to your life? You might be trying to consciously or even unconsciously punish someone by not forgiving him or her. Who are you really punishing? Who’s carrying that judgment around? You might not consciously recall that you are carrying judgment, but it is simmering below the surface, coloring everything and everyone with whom you interact. Little by little, judgments add up and weigh you down. You’re quick to anger, feel tired and stressed and may not understand why. Comments to others may become nasty and your patience fades. This is a result of your attempt to punish and not forgive. Think about it…who are you really punishing?
To paraphrase Max Lucado, "Anger is a predictable emotion, an irritant, a frustration, and an aggravation? Someone gets your parking place. Someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. A waitress is slow and you are in a hurry. The toast burns. Before you know it, little irritations turn into rage, revenge, bitterness and hatred. We trust no one and bare our teeth at anyone who gets near. Is that any way to live? What good has hatred ever brought? What hope has anger ever created? What problems have ever been resolved by revenge?"
What has a grudge ever resolved? In most cases, grudges become the focus and hinder you from living life to the fullest! Recognize who is being hurt by your grudge and non-forgiveness. Does the other person burn with your anger, feel the knot in your stomach, experience the recycling of your thoughts as you re-experience the events in your mind? Do they stay awake as you rehearse in your mind what you would like to say or do to 'punish' them? No…the pain is all yours!
Knowing 'why' is not the prerequisite to forgiveness. Knowing why the behavior happened will not lessen the pain, because the pain came at a time when you did not know why. Occasionally there are times when knowing why makes forgiveness unnecessary, but they are rare.
A solution to consider…make a list of what was actually done that caused your pain; not what you felt was done. Acknowledge your part. Were you honest about your hurt or did you hide the fact that the behavior hurt you? Did you seek peace by reassuring the perpetrator that it was all right? Did you stay when you or should have gone? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, acknowledge your behavior and take responsibility for the ramifications of your actions.
Congratulations! You took the first step to stop being a victim!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
The History of Valentine’s Day
February 14 is Valentine's Day. Although it is celebrated as a lovers' holiday today, it originated in 5th Century Rome as a tribute to St. Valentine, a Catholic bishop.
For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.
In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box; however, the game was changed to emulating the ways of the saint drawn. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.
Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in 270 AD had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.
Claudius determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine would secretly marry the young men and women that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.
During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.
Although the church banned the lottery, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was stilled used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.
The first Valentine card grew out of this practice. Charles, Duke of Orleans, sent the first true Valentine card in 1415 to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London.
Cupid, another symbol of the holiday, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Even today, Cupid often appears on Valentine cards.
For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.
In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box; however, the game was changed to emulating the ways of the saint drawn. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.
Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in 270 AD had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.
Claudius determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine would secretly marry the young men and women that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.
During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.
Although the church banned the lottery, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was stilled used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.
The first Valentine card grew out of this practice. Charles, Duke of Orleans, sent the first true Valentine card in 1415 to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London.
Cupid, another symbol of the holiday, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Even today, Cupid often appears on Valentine cards.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
The Value of a Woman Explained by a Man
My friend Jaxx, an actor and screenwriter in Los Angeles wrote the following in his upcoming book, Love and Pain in the Pouring Rain: The Jaxx Poetics. Being a very giving person, he allowed me to share it with you. Thank you, Jaxx, for knowing and penning a woman’s true value!
A Woman’s Worth
I mean, when you find that one woman in your life that meets and exceeds all expectations, what's she worth to you? And I don't mean in the dollars and cents of how much you can give her, but what is this woman's value in your life? I suppose it also begs the question if you've ever had a woman like that in your life? What does that feel like? What is it about the experience that stands out from every other woman you've ever laid hands on in your life?
But what is she worth to you? What place of value does she hold in your heart, in your life?
When a woman gives all of herself to you, places all of her trust and love in you and you alone, what does that mean to you? How do you value you it? How do you value her? And, if she gives you all of that, what kind of a King will you be to her?
I know I’m asking a whole lot of questions today...but think about it. When we give in to Love, we submit, too. We become servants to that feeling, to that expression she brings out in us. So even when she surrenders her all, we surrender everything that we are to acknowledge that love and return it two-fold. And, if our hearts are so moved, we desire to be her end all, be all of Love, the captain trusted to steer the course of her joy and fulfillment for the rest of her days. For the sake of her smile, her laugh, her joy, we submit. For everything that she is and that she will be, we submit to raising her above all other women as ours, as though she were one with our very flesh.
So what is a woman's worth?
The very air we breathe?
All the money we have?
All of our possessions, now and those to come?
I say, she is worth every pain you suffer, every trouble you encounter, every voice that raises against you, every heart that cries against you, every man who would plunder from you, every bruise your heart feels, every ache without her in your arms, every day you curse yourself for not finding her sooner than you did.
And, she is worth every second and every breath you have to remind her
how much you love her, cherish her, adore her and would rather die than bring her pain. Not as your PROPERTY, but as your PROPER MATE, molded and fashioned from love for love to be loved...always.
So what is a woman worth to you?
And, are you worthy of a woman?
A Woman’s Worth
I mean, when you find that one woman in your life that meets and exceeds all expectations, what's she worth to you? And I don't mean in the dollars and cents of how much you can give her, but what is this woman's value in your life? I suppose it also begs the question if you've ever had a woman like that in your life? What does that feel like? What is it about the experience that stands out from every other woman you've ever laid hands on in your life?
But what is she worth to you? What place of value does she hold in your heart, in your life?
When a woman gives all of herself to you, places all of her trust and love in you and you alone, what does that mean to you? How do you value you it? How do you value her? And, if she gives you all of that, what kind of a King will you be to her?
I know I’m asking a whole lot of questions today...but think about it. When we give in to Love, we submit, too. We become servants to that feeling, to that expression she brings out in us. So even when she surrenders her all, we surrender everything that we are to acknowledge that love and return it two-fold. And, if our hearts are so moved, we desire to be her end all, be all of Love, the captain trusted to steer the course of her joy and fulfillment for the rest of her days. For the sake of her smile, her laugh, her joy, we submit. For everything that she is and that she will be, we submit to raising her above all other women as ours, as though she were one with our very flesh.
So what is a woman's worth?
The very air we breathe?
All the money we have?
All of our possessions, now and those to come?
I say, she is worth every pain you suffer, every trouble you encounter, every voice that raises against you, every heart that cries against you, every man who would plunder from you, every bruise your heart feels, every ache without her in your arms, every day you curse yourself for not finding her sooner than you did.
And, she is worth every second and every breath you have to remind her
how much you love her, cherish her, adore her and would rather die than bring her pain. Not as your PROPERTY, but as your PROPER MATE, molded and fashioned from love for love to be loved...always.
So what is a woman worth to you?
And, are you worthy of a woman?