Healing Addictions

In his book Healing the Addictive Mind, Lee Jampolsky states, “When we are caught in addiction it is impossible to experience love. Compulsivity and peace of mind are mutually exclusive…our addictions slowly become the walls behind which we hide. Eventually our walls become so high that instead of simply hiding we become prisoners of our own making. The guards in the prison of addiction are our egos while the bars of our cells are forged with our irrational beliefs.”

At the root of all addictions is the search for happiness and contentment from outside sources. Most of us are addicted to some outside object external to us. This includes the use of drugs, use of food, addiction to a person, excessive addiction to sex, compulsive buying, etc.

With the exception of those born of parents known to be or have been users of hard drugs, babies are not born as addicts. Children learn how to become addicted by discovering and abusing methods allowing them to achieve a state of comfort by turning to food, acquiring a new toy and later on in life as they grow into adolescence and adulthood, they discover that certain things make them feel good. This could be turning to food, to a cigarette, a drink, drugs, relationships or compulsive buying, to name a few.

The pattern leading to addiction is quite simple. It always begins with the time when we used a pacifier or tranquilizer to relieve our discomfort. At a future time as we re-experience a similar feeling, which could be fear or anxiousness, we remember the relief we received from that pacifier and resort to it. As the pattern is repeated, one uses the pacifying/stress relief addiction to achieve momentary relief by avoiding pain.

To successfully overcome addictions, one must recognize the pattern and identify the cause of pain. Hypnosis works by making a connection between your subconscious and consciousness, allowing fuller control of your thought patterns. Using hypnosis allows for the resolution of the issues that caused the addictive behavior in the first place.

Unlike 12-step programs, hypnosis does not identify you by your addiction or teach you that you are helpless against the addiction and must attend meetings for the rest of your life. Hypnosis gives you control of the negative influences that control your thinking patterns. In addition, you develop the beliefs, values, boundaries and the internal identity of someone who has no need for the substances or behaviors they used to depend upon.

Dr. Michael Merzenich of the University of California San Francisco and his colleagues have made discoveries in the field of neuro-science that demonstrate the brain is capable of learning new ways of thinking, as well as experiencing the world throughout our lifetimes. This is precisely why hypnosis is an excellent way to deal with addictions.

Wise Words From My Father

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” ~Edward Thorndike

I’ve learned so much listening to my father at the dinner table over the years. This Father’s Day, I’d like to share his wise words with you. They are:

• Never speak ill of those who have had you as a guest in their home.
• Never do business with one who has cheated on a spouse.
• Never forget that it takes only one person, one idea or one action to change your life forever.
• Pay less attention to what people say and carefully watch what they do.
• Even during inflation, a dime can be used as screwdriver.
• Don’t forget that right is right even if no one does it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone does it.
• When in a position to hire someone, ask yourself, “Is this someone I’d invite to my home for dinner?”
• It doesn’t help to have a road map if you can’t read it.
• When you meet a man you are interested in, ask him the name of the book he is currently reading.

With love, appreciation and the utmost respect…Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!

Be Well, Live Well: Behavior Change Simplified

As a hypnotherapist and life coach, I am often asked how to overcome the many obstacles life throws our way. The answer is behavior change. Whether you are overcoming an addiction, procrastination or attempting to achieve a lifelong goal, the road to behavior change is not easily traveled, but many have successfully navigated it. Below are several suggestions to make your journey easier:

• Be well informed about the change you are making — Be ready to outsmart the behavior in your effort to overcome it.
• Be ready — Like anything else, don’t go into the effort unprepared or lacking confidence.
• Set goals — Setting measurable goals provides a “yardstick” against which to chart progress and affirms your commitment to achievement.
• Make a total commitment — While different people move into their changes with differing amounts of speed and energy, be totally committed to make the change.
• Take it one day at a time — Seeing a change as something you are going to have to do for the rest of your life is overwhelming. Seeing the change as a series of day-by-day steps makes it easier to accept and comprehend because the mental pressures of changing are easier.
• Plan ahead for scenarios that you find threatening — Thinking of what those threatening situations might be in advance, and having a plan to deal with them, helps with many pitfalls you may face.
• Control your environment — Doing things like not going to places where temptation could occur, making your home a non-smoking area, keeping only healthy food in the pantry and
  refrigerator, or avoiding certain people helps.
• Take small steps — Realized you did not get to you current situation overnight, thus returning to a more healthy state will take time. Big changes occur through a series of small victories.
• Seek support from others — Family members, co-workers, support groups, workplace wellness programs and other means of support are all helpful. If you have support readily available to you, use it! If you do not, find ways to add support to your life.
• Realize that compliments from others are motivating and energizing.
• Don’t let a short term relapse negatively impact your potential for long term success — Recognize the mistake that led to relapse, don’t dwell on it, dust yourself off, get back on the horse and ride on.
• Know that one successful change leads to another — Success drives success.
• Reward yourself for success — Give yourself little rewards along the way.

Albert Camus said, “In the depth of winter, I finally learned within me there lay an invincible summer.” May you bask in the warmth of summer and shine in the light of success!

Pampering Your Man on Father’s Day

Ever notice that mothers are often praised for their love and dedication, while dads are trailing somewhere not too far behind, usually pushing the cart or carrying the shopping bags. They're the ones who pick up the pieces when everything falls apart. With their tools, they fix the roof, mow the lawn and put together the flat-pack IKEA furniture. Is there anything a dad can't do?

Economic hard times and out-of-work fathers mean buying his favorite “big ticket” toy is out of the question this Father’s Day for many families, as the extra cash is needed to run the household. Of course there are other ways of celebrating fatherhood and one very important way is indulging him with escapism. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of Emotional Freedom, when life is more stressful, we need an escape even more because it is a healthy and positive coping mechanism that helps us find an oasis of calm.

Below are a few suggestions for mom to create the perfect oasis of calm for dad this Father’s Day and all are under $50.00!

Soothe Your Senses Day Spa for Men and Woman, www.sootheyoursenses.com, located in Chicago’s Edgewater neighborhood, offers an array of treatments to lovingly pamper an overly stressed dad. The Vichy shower and the aromatherapy steam room are two treatments I highly recommend. However, the devoted staff will be happy to suggest other treatments to revive dad’s spirit.

The Colors of Wine, www.thecolorsofwine.net, Atlanta’s premier boutique wine shop, has an outstanding selection of wine and accessories. Located in charming Vinings, this boutique wine shop has everything from aromatic Albarinos to zesty Zinfandels, allowing mom to set the mood for romance on Father’s Day.

Soulstice Natural Products, www.soulsticenaturalproducts.com, is a New Orleans favorite. Their all natural products are the ultimate accoutrement for bringing dad’s sexy back. Mood enhancing aromatherapy candles and bath salts with scents like Leather, Voo Doo and Love Potion #9 will create such a state of deep relaxation in his body, dad will be wishing everyday were Father’s Day!

Whatever you do this Father’s Day, the most important thing to remember is…anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy!