Gratitude Makes the Soul Sing

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John F. Kennedy

I’ve always believed and trusted that I am in the right place at the right time. When mistakes are made, I  learn whatever lessons must be learned. Over the years, I have wisely selected my friends, thus I am part of a community that expresses from the heart and embraces dreams.

As an architect designs, I create my life passionately, by connecting with people core-to-core instead of superficially. Understanding strength in synergy and weakness in selfishness, I dwell in a place of complete gratitude.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude is exhilarating … it makes the soul sing!

Giving Thanks

Contrary to popular belief, the first recorded Thanksgiving ceremony took place on September 8, 1565. Under the leadership of Pedro Menéndez de Avilés, six hundred Spaniards landed at what is now St. Augustine, Florida, and immediately held a Mass of Thanksgiving for their safe delivery to the New World; there followed a feast and celebration. It had nothing to do with Pilgrims, Indians or turkey … that happened fifty-six years later.

In fact, the Pilgrims of Plymouth owe quite a bit of thanks to Squanto, a Patuxet Native American who resided with the Wampanoag tribe. Squanto taught the Pilgrims how to catch eel, grow corn and served as an interpreter for them; he learned English as a slave in Europe.

In 1621, immediately after their first harvest, the Pilgrims set apart a day to celebrate. At the time, this was not regarded as a Thanksgiving observance; harvest festivals were existing parts of English and Wampanoag tradition alike. The Pilgrims did not hold a true Thanksgiving until 1623, following a drought. The Pilgrims prayed for rain and a rain shower followed. In the Plymouth tradition, Thanksgiving Day became a church observance, rather than a feast day.

The day two races came together in fellowship to give thanks and share food should be remembered, celebrated and honored. However, the commercialism of today’s Thanksgiving celebration, with the plethora of tacky turkey trinkets, makes me gag … yuck!

I believe we should not only celebrate this important day in American history, but we should give thanks for the gifts, blessings and love we receive on a daily basis, not only on the fourth Thursday each November. Yes, many of us do, but far too many do not. On Thanksgiving Day, when you sit down to your traditional meal and celebrate with family and friends, start a new tradition … giving thanks daily.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving … may it be filled with love, joy, blessings and new traditions, too!

The Art of Meaningful Conversation

“The most fruitful and natural play of the mind is conversation. I find it sweeter than any other action in life,” wrote 16th century essayist Michel de Montaigne. Few things are in fact so pleasurable and fertile as engaging in good talk. Whether you’re falling in love or entering into friendship, open-ended, seemingly unimportant conversations are essential to building intimacy. They are also the means by which we learn, via other people, how the world works. Talking forces us to clarify our perspectives, as well as recall our experiences. A meandering chat unlocks doors to memories long ago stored away.

Increasingly, most of us lack the time and the focus for this most basic of human activities. “Non-goal-oriented conversations are a great luxury now,” says Daniel Menaker, author of A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation. And when we do have a spare hour or two, we often spend it in less satisfying forms of communication. Many people think nothing of checking their Smartphones over dinner (a HUGE pet peeve of mine). Such “conversing” makes one statement loud and clear: Our interlocutor isn’t valuable enough to warrant our full attention.

Looking down at a handheld device, rather than into the eyes of your conversational mate, isn’t merely rude, it also sabotages the exchange of nonverbal cues that sustain rich and meaningful attachments. “We’re all facial coders,” says Dan Hill, founder and president of Sensory Logic, a market research firm.

Reading others’ faces and emotions is a key component of empathy, and some argue that the ability or willingness to empathize is on the decline. In study conducted at the University of Michigan, researchers found a 40 percent drop in empathy (as measured by questions about feeling concern for the less fortunate and putting oneself in another’s shoes.) among college students from 1979 to 2009. A sharp plunge began around the year 2000—just as the digital era as we know it kicked into high gear.

In addition, digital communication breeds confusion. Researchers recently concluded that email communicators “hear” what they’re writing based on their intention, while the email recipient often misses that nuance. For example, a statement meant to be sarcastic can be read as insulting.

“Conversations are necessary for creating wisdom about the self and others,” says Menaker. Without conversations that take us on spontaneous journeys through ideas and opinions, we cannot know what we think and we cannot understand the minds of others.

Life Happens ... Lose the Excuses

The clamor of chaos follows the frenetic face of frustration and it isn’t even noon yet! Does this sound like your day? It was mine at 9:00 a.m.  Forget lunch … meetings, followed by conference calls and a slue of email, have me glued to my desk. Whew, finally a moment to breathe - yay - then I realize it is 6:00 p.m.  Where did my day go?

Overwhelming, isn't it?  Do you have similar days?  Do your days turn into weeks, and then the weeks go by turning into months? Have you ever said, “I’ll call,” “Let’s do lunch,” or “I always have time for you,” but are your words and actions really aligned? Are you guilty of making these statements repeatedly without following through? How many friends and family members have you ignored in the process of attempting to manage your life?

In one of Aesop’s many fables, we are told of a boy who fictitiously cries wolf on more than one occasion. When the wolf really appears, the villagers ignore the boy’s cry based on past behavior. Are you “the boy who cries wolf” with words and empty promises? Do you use life as your excuse for not keeping in touch?

In the technological world in which we live, there are no excuses! Email, voice mail, IM and text messaging enable us to keep in touch using minimal time. Actions really do speak louder than words. In fact, actions yell integrity, loyalty, consideration and respect. The empty excuses of could have, would have, should have and my favorite - I’ll try (thank you, Yoda, for explaining why there is no try) - are not acceptable, period!

Be true to yourself and to others by ensuring your actions speak louder than your words. Life happens to all of us … lose the excuses!