Living a Passionate Life

Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap, action equals deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future…without action, passion is void.

Commit yourself to powerfully create a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart, out of love rather than fear. You will be amazed as the transformation begins.

Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.

Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude.

Use Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda.

Keep humor at the forefront of thought. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

Trust that you are in the right place at the right time to learn whatever lessons you are meant to be learning. Become a part of a community of people where you can express from the heart and embrace each other's dreams and life philosophy. Know that you will be honored as you honor one another.

When emotions arise, flow with them. Take time out to be fully in the moment. This will model what it means to be authentically engaged in life, no matter what is dished out.

Be strongly vulnerable in connecting with people core-to-core instead of superficially. Do this by replacing the tendency of backing away with drawing closer.

Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except you! Create your life authentically. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

This week's blog is dedicated to my dear friends ... thank you for being in my life and for allowing me to be me! ;-)

To Inspire

According to Merriam-Webster, the word inspire means to fill with enlivening or exalting emotion; to affect, guide or arouse by divine influence; to stimulate energies, ideals or reverence. That’s a powerful definition for a seven-letter word. What inspires you? Is it a person or a place? Your minister, priest or rabbi? The message you received from Sunday’s sermon? A meal prepared by your favorite chef? A painting or poem? A book or movie?  A consequential stranger or Facebook friend?

We are all inspired by one thing or another, but are you aware of how you inspire others? Your acts of kindness, your smile or your words of wisdom can inspire profoundly. In many cases, you may not be aware of the depth in which your actions inspire. The gift of inspiration is a beautiful thing … especially when it’s acknowledged.

Next time someone inspires you, remember to reciprocate the gift with the joy of acknowledgement.

Synergy, Patterns and Temporary Insanity

Synergy is the simultaneous action of separate people in which, together, have a greater total effect than the sum of their individual powers. When in love, it is quite possible to confuse synergy with infatuation’s temporary insanity, thus repeating relationship patterns that are less than healthy.

Recognizing relationship patterns is one of the most difficult, enlightening and liberating tasks we can do for ourselves. It takes self-honesty and objectivity, which can be quite painful and embarrassing, but the payoff is quite liberating. Once we figure out that relationships aren’t random events that happen, but are a result of our own patterns, we can reclaim our power and remind ourselves that WE are the authors writing OUR chapter in the book of life.

There is a saying about patterns that holds true, “When you do what you did, you get what you got.” One must accept responsibility for the connection between what you do and what you get. By taking a long, hard look at the people around you and an even harder look at yourself, you will realize that no one is in our lives that we haven’t chosen to let in.

Before the temporary insanity of infatuation sets in, it is imperative to find out the character of the person you are inviting into your life. Ask questions and pay very close attention to the answers. Then, pay even closer attention to whether or not the answers match the person’s behavior. When there is a difference between what they say and how they behave, ignore the words and believe the behavior!

Someone who claims to believe in the importance of honesty would not lie. Someone who believes in commitment would not cheat. Someone who claims to be respectful would never demean or trivialize you or what is important to you.

In life, as in chess, think long, think hard and choose wisely.

Gratitude Makes the Soul Sing

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John F. Kennedy

I’ve always believed and trusted that I am in the right place at the right time. When mistakes are made, I  learn whatever lessons must be learned. Over the years, I have wisely selected my friends, thus I am part of a community that expresses from the heart and embraces dreams.

As an architect designs, I create my life passionately, by connecting with people core-to-core instead of superficially. Understanding strength in synergy and weakness in selfishness, I dwell in a place of complete gratitude.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude is exhilarating … it makes the soul sing!

Giving Thanks

Contrary to popular belief, the first recorded Thanksgiving ceremony took place on September 8, 1565. Under the leadership of Pedro Menéndez de Avilés, six hundred Spaniards landed at what is now St. Augustine, Florida, and immediately held a Mass of Thanksgiving for their safe delivery to the New World; there followed a feast and celebration. It had nothing to do with Pilgrims, Indians or turkey … that happened fifty-six years later.

In fact, the Pilgrims of Plymouth owe quite a bit of thanks to Squanto, a Patuxet Native American who resided with the Wampanoag tribe. Squanto taught the Pilgrims how to catch eel, grow corn and served as an interpreter for them; he learned English as a slave in Europe.

In 1621, immediately after their first harvest, the Pilgrims set apart a day to celebrate. At the time, this was not regarded as a Thanksgiving observance; harvest festivals were existing parts of English and Wampanoag tradition alike. The Pilgrims did not hold a true Thanksgiving until 1623, following a drought. The Pilgrims prayed for rain and a rain shower followed. In the Plymouth tradition, Thanksgiving Day became a church observance, rather than a feast day.

The day two races came together in fellowship to give thanks and share food should be remembered, celebrated and honored. However, the commercialism of today’s Thanksgiving celebration, with the plethora of tacky turkey trinkets, makes me gag … yuck!

I believe we should not only celebrate this important day in American history, but we should give thanks for the gifts, blessings and love we receive on a daily basis, not only on the fourth Thursday each November. Yes, many of us do, but far too many do not. On Thanksgiving Day, when you sit down to your traditional meal and celebrate with family and friends, start a new tradition … giving thanks daily.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving … may it be filled with love, joy, blessings and new traditions, too!

The Art of Meaningful Conversation

“The most fruitful and natural play of the mind is conversation. I find it sweeter than any other action in life,” wrote 16th century essayist Michel de Montaigne. Few things are in fact so pleasurable and fertile as engaging in good talk. Whether you’re falling in love or entering into friendship, open-ended, seemingly unimportant conversations are essential to building intimacy. They are also the means by which we learn, via other people, how the world works. Talking forces us to clarify our perspectives, as well as recall our experiences. A meandering chat unlocks doors to memories long ago stored away.

Increasingly, most of us lack the time and the focus for this most basic of human activities. “Non-goal-oriented conversations are a great luxury now,” says Daniel Menaker, author of A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation. And when we do have a spare hour or two, we often spend it in less satisfying forms of communication. Many people think nothing of checking their Smartphones over dinner (a HUGE pet peeve of mine). Such “conversing” makes one statement loud and clear: Our interlocutor isn’t valuable enough to warrant our full attention.

Looking down at a handheld device, rather than into the eyes of your conversational mate, isn’t merely rude, it also sabotages the exchange of nonverbal cues that sustain rich and meaningful attachments. “We’re all facial coders,” says Dan Hill, founder and president of Sensory Logic, a market research firm.

Reading others’ faces and emotions is a key component of empathy, and some argue that the ability or willingness to empathize is on the decline. In study conducted at the University of Michigan, researchers found a 40 percent drop in empathy (as measured by questions about feeling concern for the less fortunate and putting oneself in another’s shoes.) among college students from 1979 to 2009. A sharp plunge began around the year 2000—just as the digital era as we know it kicked into high gear.

In addition, digital communication breeds confusion. Researchers recently concluded that email communicators “hear” what they’re writing based on their intention, while the email recipient often misses that nuance. For example, a statement meant to be sarcastic can be read as insulting.

“Conversations are necessary for creating wisdom about the self and others,” says Menaker. Without conversations that take us on spontaneous journeys through ideas and opinions, we cannot know what we think and we cannot understand the minds of others.

Life Happens ... Lose the Excuses

The clamor of chaos follows the frenetic face of frustration and it isn’t even noon yet! Does this sound like your day? It was mine at 9:00 a.m.  Forget lunch … meetings, followed by conference calls and a slue of email, have me glued to my desk. Whew, finally a moment to breathe - yay - then I realize it is 6:00 p.m.  Where did my day go?

Overwhelming, isn't it?  Do you have similar days?  Do your days turn into weeks, and then the weeks go by turning into months? Have you ever said, “I’ll call,” “Let’s do lunch,” or “I always have time for you,” but are your words and actions really aligned? Are you guilty of making these statements repeatedly without following through? How many friends and family members have you ignored in the process of attempting to manage your life?

In one of Aesop’s many fables, we are told of a boy who fictitiously cries wolf on more than one occasion. When the wolf really appears, the villagers ignore the boy’s cry based on past behavior. Are you “the boy who cries wolf” with words and empty promises? Do you use life as your excuse for not keeping in touch?

In the technological world in which we live, there are no excuses! Email, voice mail, IM and text messaging enable us to keep in touch using minimal time. Actions really do speak louder than words. In fact, actions yell integrity, loyalty, consideration and respect. The empty excuses of could have, would have, should have and my favorite - I’ll try (thank you, Yoda, for explaining why there is no try) - are not acceptable, period!

Be true to yourself and to others by ensuring your actions speak louder than your words. Life happens to all of us … lose the excuses!

Desiderata

Written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann, Desiderata is one of my favorite poems.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;

they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,

you may become vain or bitter,

for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,

for the world is full of trickery.

But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals,

and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.

Neither be cynical about love,

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,

it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,

gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.

But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.

Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe

no less than the trees and the stars;

you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,

no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,

whatever you conceive Him to be.

And whatever your labors and aspirations,

in the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,

it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Thank you mom and dad for teaching me everything in this poem ... it molded me into the woman I am today.

The Bliss of a Kiss

In the words of Oliver Wendell Holmes, “The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer.” Absolutely, Mr. Holmes! In fact, that echo can last for weeks on end.
 

V-J Day in Times Square by Alfred Eisenstaedt


While the scientific definition takes the sexiness out of it, isn’t it amazing that the anatomical juxtaposition of  two orbicularis oris muscles in a state of contraction brings such pleasure? Moreover, reveals emotions without words and on occasion, allows reality to slap us in the face.

Regardless of exactly how people got the idea to kiss or what they mean when they do it, anthropologists are pretty sure that people started kissing thousands of years ago.

Four Vedic Sanskrit texts, written in India around 1500 B.C., appear to describe people kissing. This doesn't mean that people didn't kiss before then, and it doesn't mean that the people of India were the first to kiss. Artists and writers may have just considered kissing too private to depict in art or literature.

After its first mention in writing, kissing didn't appear much in art or literature for a few hundred years. The world’s longest epic poem Mahabharata describes kissing on the lips as a sign of affection. The Mahabharata was passed down orally for several hundred years before being written down and standardized around 350 A.D. A feat in itself, as it contains 1.8 million words in total, roughly ten times the length of the Iliad and Odyssey combined. The Vatsyayana Kamasutram, or Kama Sutra, also describes a variety of kisses.

Some anthropologists believe that kissing is a learned cultural behavior and theorize that the Greeks learned about it when Alexander the Great invaded India in 326 B.C., but many other anthropologists disagree and believe kissing was part of courtship rituals for centuries before it was ever recorded.

Kissing was quite popular during the Roman Empire and Romans used kisses to greet friends and family members. Citizens kissed their rulers' hands. The Romans had three different categories for kissing: Osculum was a kiss on the cheek; Basium was a kiss on the lips; Savolium was a deep kiss. In Rome, it was tradition that couples announce their wedding by kissing passionately in front of a group of people, including family. Today modern couples kiss at the end of wedding ceremonies.

The Romans also sealed letters and documents with a kiss and so the term "sealed with a kiss" comes as no surprise. Kisses were used like handshakes to seal legal and business agreements and even during political campaigns.

The British took it one step further with "kisses for votes" scandals in the 18th century which led some candidates to kissing only the very young and very old.

Most cultures around the world kiss today, but there are differing views on the appropriateness of kissing.

Personally, I’ve never believed in love at first sight. A kiss? Well - like the Romans - I believe a kiss can seal the deal.

A Chattahoochee Morning

After a grueling workweek - several 14-hour days - a sunrise stroll along the Chattahoochee River was just what the doctor ordered. The serene landscape and flowing water instantly instill tranquility. Light fog rising wispily above the water on a cool fall morning resembles mystical creatures with magical powers. While watching the fog rise, I thought about the history of the river. 

The Chattahoochee River has played a key role in the history of Georgia. Paleolithic and Woodland Indians called it home. The Cherokee and Creek used the river as a border, first between their Nations, then between themselves and early settlers. The Cherokee had named the river "Chota," which was also the name of a town in the Nacoochee Valley. When the river flowed into Creek territory, it became the "Chattahoochee." When the Cherokees were forced out of their homeland, the name "Chota" disappeared with them. The Chattahoochee, though, carried on.

In its watershed, the first great American Gold Rush (1828 - 1840) occurred. Crossing the river was a major accomplishment for William Tecumseh Sherman during the Atlanta Campaign of the Civil War. In addition, the noted Georgian poet Sidney Lanier commemorated the beauty of the Chattahoochee River in an epic poem, The Song of the Chattahoochee (1877). Today, it helps grow peanuts and cotton in southwest Georgia, powers turbines, and flushes every toilet in Atlanta.

Rivers typically meander and change course over time. However, the Chattahoochee River is one of the oldest and most stable river channels within the United States. It is essentially "locked" in place, flowing along the Brevard Fault Zone, which is the dividing line between the Appalachian Mountains and the Piedmont Plateau. The fault itself serves as a natural barrier to movement. The Brevard Fault, which cuts diagonally from northeast Georgia to Alabama, is probably the Chattahoochee's most important geological feature and has contributed much to the scenic beauty of the river, both above and below Atlanta.

This morning’s photos of picturesque nature scenery were taken at Cochran Shoals/Powers Island, part of the Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area, a 48-mile stretch of the Chattahoochee River. It begins at Lake Lanier's Buford Dam, near Buford, Georgia, and continues downstream through four counties to Peachtree Creek near downtown Atlanta.

Crabs in the Bucket

Growing up in Southeast Louisiana, I had the luxury of experiencing Sportsman’s Paradise to the fullest. As a child, I’d spend endless summer hours with my father boating, fishing and crabbing. Having an inquisitive mind, I’d often sit and watch the crabs in the bucket after daddy removed them from the traps. I thought crabs were truly fascinating.

What I found to be the most interesting was the behavior of the crabs in the bucket, as one would climb and rise above the rest, the others would grab the hind legs of the climbing crab, pulling it back into the bucket. “No need for a lid,” he’d say, “because no crab will allow another crab to move up and get out.”

I questioned that behavior and thought, “Can't they lend a helping pincer, form a chain, climb up and pull the entire group out of the bucket? Why can’t they do like ants and work as a team?” Instead of thinking about dinner, at 10-years-old, my fascination with behavior began.

Although crab behavior should not be analogous to human behavior, I can think of many instances where it is. Just show a little ambition to escape the confines of your situation in the workplace and your management and co-workers will swoop in to give you that extra boost of support you need to make it to the next level. Right? I don’t think so. Far too often the ambitious are kept in their place and the mediocre dictate how it’s going to be for everyone, pulling you back into the crabby abyss.

I escaped the abyss by being kicked out of the bucket. Having an ambitious soul, I’ve moved on to better things. When asked recently, “How did you land that gig?” I smiled and thought to myself, “I expostulate crabs in the bucket behavior and embrace the social networking of the ant…for the greater good of all.”

This week’s blog is dedicated to my mentors, thank you for the amaranthine encouragement, overlooking our temperamental differences.

Absurdity and the Consequential Stranger

In his essays, Albert Camus states that individual lives and human existence in general have no rational meaning or order. Since most people have difficulty accepting this notion, they constantly attempt to identify or create rational structure and meaning in their lives. The term “absurdity” describes humanity’s futile attempt to find rational order where none exists.

We don’t always pay attention to the cumulative effects of a warm hello, or help with a package, or a daily text, or a photograph that makes us smile. But when someone or something is no longer there--you realize how those brief, subtle, everyday interactions add up. And, it’s not a futile attempt to create rational structure … consequential strangers matter. Relationships needn't be painted as "close" or "not-close," but rather as meaningful. Why--because meaningful relationships are important social and spiritual principles.

We genuinely need people we can trust to tell us the truth, even when it is difficult to hear. In a fast-paced, high-tech, highly mobile society, we must be intentional in cultivating connectedness and community. The joy of living well is found in stepping beyond our independence and isolation towards a quality of life only to be found with others.

If nothing had any meaning, Camus would be right …

Eat, Pray, Love at Babette’s Café

One of my favorite Virginia-Highland restaurants is Babette’s Café. For those of you not familiar with the area, Virginia-Highland is a neighborhood of Atlanta, Georgia, founded in the early 20th century as a streetcar suburb. It is named after the intersection of Virginia Avenue and North Highland Avenue, the heart of a busy commercial district at the center of the neighborhood. The neighborhood is famous for its bungalows and other historic houses from the 1910s-1930s. It has become a destination for people across Atlanta with its eclectic mix of restaurants, bars, and shops.

Chef Marla Adams named her gem, Babette’s Café, after Babette’s Feast, a novel by Baroness Karen von Blixen-Finecke (Isak Dinesen). Gabriel Axel wrote an adaptation of Babette’s Feast, which in 1988, won an Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film. Like its namesake, Babette’s Café is also award winning, boasting Wine Enthusiast Magazine’s Restaurant of Distinction Award, Best of Citysearch Top 10 Best of Brunch, Zagat rated Very Good to Excellent and ranked second-place for Best Short Wine List on Restaurant Hospitality Magazine’s Best Wine Lists in America.

Since food is one of the central themes of life, it stands to reason that it would make a good theme for the cinema. There is something sensual about a well-crafted movie featuring food. The smells and tastes leap off the screen and make the viewer hungry for more. Inspired by the book and movie, Eat, Pray Love, Babette’s Café is offering a series of Italian specials through Sept. 26. Tropical flowers, candles, and luscious food make for a spiritual evening.

I had the pleasure of dining at Babette’s Cafe on Wednesday for a post birthday celebration with a dear friend. My experience -- spiritual, indeed! The squash blossoms stuffed with ricotta made my tastebuds jump up and down with joy. The Bucatini Amatriciana was THE pasta perfection on this side of Heaven. The wild mushroom risotto with roasted duck and wild mushrooms -- the perfect marriage -- sensual richness meets delicate, woodsy and earthy flavors.

For life’s gastronomic pleasures, dining at Babette’s Café is a cardinal rule! Thank you Chef Marla Adams, for consistently offering an impeccable dining experience.

A Creed by Which to Live

I celebrated my birthday on Wednesday, September 15, by hiking Cloudland Canyon in Rising Fawn, Georgia.  In true “live life to the fullest” form, I refused to let chronic asthma ruin my hike, so with rescue inhaler in hand, the special day’s hike began.  Click here to view photos.

My philosophy on living life is best described by Nancye Sims’ poem, A Creed to Live By, which you may read below:

Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living
in the past or for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast
that you forget not only where you’ve been,
but also where you’re going. Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

My Solar Return Reflection

As I approach another revolution around the sun, I’ve come to understand that however unwelcome an event may be at the time, it always leads to a positive outcome in the future. I consider friends and acquaintances and how they make me feel … spending my time with those embodying allegorical exuberance, distancing myself from the slightest tenebrosity of envy, resentment and spitefulness.

I share my insights …

• I am ever so grateful that my blog is read worldwide -- six continents, ninety-seven countries!!!
• I love smiles, as a smile can unlock the hardest of hearts.
• I cherish and treasure all of my relationships.
• It is very important to express gratitude and appreciation.
• Say, “I love you” as often as possible.
• The person who possesses the largest bookshelf, not designer fashions, an overflowing wallet or biggest gun, holds true power.
• Always transcend political correctness and strive for human righteousness.
• The truth can hurt and often does, so get over it and move forward.
• Let go of the past or you won’t have room for a future.
• The bigger your challenge, the bigger your lesson.
• Mistakes repeated = lessons not learned.
• When life is stormy, dance in the rain (Believe me, I’ve learned to LOVE dancing in the rain!!!)
• Cold crow is hard to swallow; apologize wholeheartedly, as soon as possible.
• Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of the situation.

May you have enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to realize true happiness.

If Forever Came Tomorrow …

… what would you do today? Would you give attention to the most minor of details and prepare to move slowly and deliberately forward? Would your actions be simple, yet as forceful as that of continuously dripping water wearing away stone? Would you befriend someone who has never known one and never would? Would you look for the quiet corners in your heart instead of looking for the quiet corners of the world? Would you tell your mother she did a good job (and tell daddy, too)? Would you remember that life is not art but living is? Would you ride the currents of a laugh and embrace an intelligent thought? Would you say to those who should have been told it, “You were right and I was wrong”? Would you let others know what it is like to be the most important person in someone else’s life? Would you realize that being in love is not finding a perfect person, but finding an imperfect person perfect?

Because people change and forget to tell each other, if tomorrow was forever what are your actions saying about you today?

To Speak or Not to Speak to Strangers

“Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.” ~Blanche DuBois, A Streetcar Named Desire

We grew up with listening to our parents telling us, “Don’t talk to strangers.” This warning, though very well-intentioned, has a restrictive nature. It’s one thing to mind your own business or to stay out of someone’s way when you sense danger, but where do you draw the line between acting safely and cutting yourself off from the world? Most of us do not connect with everyone we meet and some of us are more introverted, preferring to keep strangers at a comfortable distance.

But for every stranger we ignore, we forfeit the chance to bring more joy into our lives. When we talk to strangers and open up to someone new and different, we uncover a myriad of opportunities -- opportunities to graciously accept the generosity of someone previously unknown, to discover something in common with a person who may, over time, become a dear friend. Allow a stranger to drop into your life and you may learn something and gain a different perspective.

In his provocative book, The Kindness of Strangers: Penniless Across America, Mike McIntyre shares a journey that took him cashless through the heart and soul of the United States. He relied on the kindness of people he’d never met before. The book inspires reflection on one’s faith in the unknown. With enough faith and the kindness of strangers, that place called the unknown can become a serendipitous and comforting spot somewhere in your future.

John's Balcony

We laughed.

We spoke.

I occasionally cried.

He often joked.

Libations overflowed,

sometimes until dawn.

He shared his emotions openly,

never withdrawn.

The balcony at his place,

had a tree that hid a wry face.

It was our comforting assuage

that eased the burdens of life,

as we stood daily on its stage.

Today is the second anniversary of the death of my very dear friend, John David Cochran.  His friendship was a gift and his spirit will live forever ...

Living a Passionate Life

Take passionate action towards living your life by design. Talk is cheap, action equals deposits in the bank of a passionately authentic future -- without action, passion is void.

Commit yourself to powerfully create a life you can love. Instead of reacting, commit to creating from your heart, out of love rather than fear. You will be amazed as the transformation begins.

Recognize and embrace the thought that each moment is perfect regardless of its outcome. If you are not pleased with the outcome, decide to use that moment to learn from and make the appropriate shift.

Dwell completely in a place of gratitude. Slipping into neediness will become less of a habit when you repeatedly shift towards gratitude.

Use Recognize/Reevaluate/Restore in place of the Shoulda/Woulda/Coulda.

Keep humor at the forefront of thought. You may find yourself quite entertaining when you loosen up! Humor is very attractive, very passionate: life-giving.

Trust that you are in the right place at the right time to learn whatever lessons you are meant to be learning. Become a part of a community of people where you can express from the heart and embrace each other's dreams and life philosophy. Know that you will be honored as you honor one another.

When emotions arise, flow with them. Take time out to be fully in the moment. This will model what it means to be authentically engaged in life, no matter what is dished out.

Be strongly vulnerable in connecting with people core to core instead of superficially. Do this by replacing the tendency of backing away with drawing closer.

Believe that you are the architect of your destiny. No one can take your passionate future from you except you! Create your life authentically. Watch everything flow into place with perfect, passionate precision.

Honor Your Uniqueness

We are often told it is better to give than to receive, it is best to be humble and it is best to not shine a light on ourselves. True, but it is important to recognize that until we honor ourselves, we will not be able to fully give to another, shine the light on another or truly understand humility.

Honor your uniqueness daily. Celebrate what is working and make adjustments where necessary. Suggestions are listed below:

• Enjoy peace and quiet daily. Once you maintain the habit of being quiet either to contemplate, pray or meditate, you will be amazed how much more efficiently and creatively you will perform your tasks, duties and projects.
• Love and nurture yourself, as you would like to nurture those around you. Once you master caring for yourself, caring for others will become effortless and spring from the heart instead of from duty.
• Accept compliments from others with grace. Never disrespect the person complimenting you by disregarding or negating the compliment. Be grateful they see something special about you.
• Spend time investing in and cultivating close friendships. Studies show that a sense of belonging is extremely important for emotional health and well-being.
• Emotionally draining relationships are not healthy. Release all energy vampires and the like from your life.
• Live a purposeful and cause-oriented life. Recognize and embrace that you are creating your life each and every day. You can choose to let life happen or to create it fully.
• Love yourself with heart, soul and strength. Be compassionate and understanding while standing firm in the knowledge that you are both unique and capable. When you master this balance, being attached to your outcomes is not an issue because you will be achieving outcomes beyond your own imagination.

Live passionately everyday in your unique way!

Stirring Up the Past

Most of us eat day in, day out without giving a second thought to the wealth of history and culture that shapes our dining habits and taste preferences. Our recipes, menus, ceremonies, and etiquette are directly shaped by our country’s rich immigrant experience, the history and innovations of food preparation technology, and the ever-changing availability of key ingredients.

Stirring Up The Past, a cookbook created by the Butts County Historical Society, commemorates the Smithsonian Institute’s traveling exhibit, Key Ingredients: America by Food, which was on display at the Indian Springs Hotel/Museum last fall.  I was honored when my friend, Melinda Atha, Executive Director of the Butts County Chamber of Commerce, asked me to contribute to the monumental project. Five of my family’s favorite recipes are included in the cookbook.

Fond memories of good food are common bonds that unite the people of Butts County. Old family recipes, many with stories and memories, were submitted by local citizens and compiled into a one-of-a-kind cookbook aptly named, Stirring Up The Past. This collection of historical recipes has been handed down from one generation to the next. Recipes from the Native Americans who lived here long before the white man came to Indian Springs are included, along with memories of the grand hotels that once flourished in this middle Georgia resort community during the first half of the twentieth century. Old recipes from the Elder Hotel, (1879-1984), are also remembered in this cookbook.

Key Ingredients: America by Food will be traveling to more than 200 rural communities across the US through 2013.

Cellar 56: Scrumptiously Affordable

Nestled on East Andrews in the heart of Buckhead, you’ll find the delightful wine bar and small plates bistro, Cellar 56. With plates priced from $3.50 - $6.50 ($9 for the pot of chocolate for two) and incredible wines at $4.00 a half glass to $10.00 a full glass, it is the perfect place to dine without spending a fortune.

The staff was gracious, knowledgeable and attentive, without being over the top. Ian, our ever so charming waiter, started us off with the sautee of wild mushrooms and Locatelli polenta; caramelized garlic risotto with aged balsamic; seared New Bedford scallop, sweet corn and Nueske’s applewood bacon; and sweet Georgia white shrimp, tasso gravy and Logan Turnpike grits. Polenta is polenta, but the wild mushrooms were sautéed with rosemary, which added a rich flavor, without being overwhelming. The New Bedford scallop was cooked to perfection – a delight to the palate. The Nueske’s applewood bacon overpowered the corn a bit too much for me, but it would be a dream for a bacon lover. The Logan Turnpike grits were the creamiest I’ve tasted, but I was not impressed with the tasso gravy and the shrimp were a bit tough. The risotto was deliciously satisfying.

For round two, Ian selected the grilled flatbread, duck confit, fig jam and Point Reyes Blue; chipotle pork, corn relish with Arbol vinaigrette; green chile prosciutto mac & cheese; and Guinness braised boneless short rib. I’m a duck lover, so I was in heaven with the grilled flatbread. The fig jam mellowed the Point Reyes Blue perfectly. The chipotle pork was savory with a touch of spiciness. The Guinness braised boneless short rib was melt-in-your-mouth fabulous, especially paired with the awesome mac & cheese.

For dessert, we had the white chocolate caramel bread pudding with Maker’s Mark caramel. Here’s a secret – it’s made with Krispy Kreme doughnuts! While some bread puddings can be heavy, this was a mouthful of scrumptious BLISS!

No good meal is served without wine, so we did partake in libations, too. The 2008 Four Vines Paso Robles Naked Chardonnay made this ABC girl (anything but chardonnay) a chardonnay drinker. Why? No oak! Yes, you are not left with that, “I just drank a tree” taste that many chardonnays leave behind. The 2009 Kung Fu Girl Washington State Riesling was crisp and fruity, without being sweet. The 2008 Villa San-Juliette Paso Robles Petit Syrah had intense tannins, and an herbal bouquet fill with black fruit and plums. The 2007 Eberle Syrah, my personal favorite, was fruit rich and tannin mellow.

Whether it is date night, girls night out, or forget cooking, I’m making a reservation night, I highly recommend Cellar 56 for any night. Cellar 56 is located at 56 E Andrews Drive Northwest, Atlanta, GA 30305-1316, (678) 244-3600. Specials include: $19.00 All You Can Eat Mondays and Two-for-One Tuesdays.

This review and my upcoming monthly reviews can be found in North Georgia Leisure Magazine.

Reality: Certainly, Relatively Speaking

Quantum physicist Werner Heisenberg is famous for his Uncertainty Principle. Heisenberg believed that reality is what can be observed. If there are different observations, there must be different realities, which depend on the observer. In stating such, he can be regarded as an advocate of philosophical idealism - objects of perception are identical with the ideas we have about them.

The idealist view denies that any particular thing has an independent essence. This is a far cry from Einstein’s Relativity Theory. Einstein believed in a reality independent of what we can observe, which is in essence the view of realism.

Two great scientists and two completely different observations, yet, both are equally significant. There is reality and there is our view of reality based on our emotional state of mind at any given time. As impartial as we think we are, our emotions and attitude play a significant role in how we view life and our outcome.

On the positive side, if we change our attitude, we can change the outcome of any given situation for the better. Antagonistic points of view based on judgment, not fact, have the adverse effect.

Paul Haggis gives us an excellent illustration of this in his 2004 film, Crash. The trailer states, “Moving at the speed of life, we are bound to collide with each other. Live your life at the point of impact.” Indeed, the film is thought-provoking and depending on the viewer, possibly a life-changing experience.

As in physics, so in life, never underestimate the impact you have on any situation.

Summer Weekends: Deliciously Art-filled

The exciting thing about summer weekends -- there’s always something fun to do -- festivals, concerts, and my two favorites, outdoor markets and art. This weekend was filled with my favorite things.

Friday evening, I attended the opening of Shana Robbins’, Supernatural Conductor, at the Atlanta Contemporary Art Center. The exhibition features paintings, videos and drawings that link womanhood with the Earth. Her bold images are graced with the soft femininity of lace and dollies. Iceland, Mexico, rural Georgia and New Mexico, set the stage for poignant videos that evoke thought and emotion, as they bring her Tree Ghost to life. Ms. Robbins graced opening night attendees with a Butoh dance to America’s, You Can Do Magic, adding the last and perfect layer to her multi-dimensional installation. Indeed, Shana Robbins did magic. Supernatural Conductor is on display until September 19th, once you see it, you’ll be glad you did.

Farmers markets, once the best kept secrets around, are more popular than ever. One of my favorites is the Marietta Square Farmers Market, open every Saturday through November from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m., in Marietta Georgia. I’ve watched this gem morph into a market boasting almost sixty vendors -- very different from the ten vendors of its early years. Two of the original and must-see vendors are Callan’s Lemonade Stand and Allene’s Farm Fresh Produce. More vendors mean an abundance of very delicious delights. Ogeechee Peaches, Zio Micu’s Garden, Granny’s Goodies (the cabernet sauvignon wine jelly is “must have more” scrumptious), Annie Okra’s Barn, Emily G’s Jams of Love (tarragon makes her red zinfandel jam wow you), and Bernhard’s Bread Bakery -- to name a few -- add something special to the mix. In addition, the restaurants surrounding Marietta Square make the Marietta Square Farmers Market a perfect shop and dine excursion.

Additional photos of Shana Robbins’ Supernatural Conductor exhibit and Marietta Square Farmers Market can be seen here.

Preserving Democracy

On this Fourth of July, let us rededicate ourselves to the proposition of preserving democracy. Let us resolve anew that this hallowed concept, bathed in the blood of heroic men and washed in the tears of courageous women, shall not perish by fault or default. Democracy’s success rests with the people, and freedom’s preservation lies in its true purpose: the freedom to do right which helps all, not a select few.

Wishing you and yours a safe and happy July 4th!

Spend Your Time Wisely

Who are you spending your time with these days? Is it that same group of friends who hang out griping? I guarantee you that discussing the state of the economy and competing as to who has had the worst day are NOT going to help you move forward. While you can rely on these folks - some of them at least - for support, they may not be so good at giving you creative ideas for making positive changes in your life.

To quote Walter Cronkite, “ I can’t imagine a person becoming a success who doesn’t give this game of life everything he’s got.” Success is a direct result of effort put forth; it has nothing to do with a lucky break. Many may not realize what happened behind the scenes in that which appears as someone’s lucky break.

Remember, don’t just follow the crowd to be normal, strive to be extraordinary … you’ll be glad you did!

Wise Words From My Father

“Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.” ~Edward Thorndike

I’ve learned so much listening to my father at the dinner table over the years. This Father’s Day, I’d like to share a few of his wise words with you. They are:

• Never speak ill of those who have had you as a guest in their home.
• Never do business with one who has cheated on a spouse.
• Never forget that it takes only one person, one idea or one action to change your life forever.
• Pay less attention to what people say and carefully watch what they do.
• Even during inflation, a dime can be used as screwdriver.
• Don’t forget that right is right even if no one does it, and wrong is wrong even if everyone does it.
• When in a position to hire someone, ask yourself, “Is this someone I’d invite to my home for dinner?”
• It doesn’t help to have a road map if you can’t read it.
• When you meet a man you are interested in, ask him the name of the book he is currently reading.

With love, appreciation and the utmost respect … Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!

The Power of Silence

“Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.” ~Josh Billings

There are times when silence has the loudest voice. Occasions arise when the best way to say much is to say nothing. The eloquence of silence can be reprimanding, or consenting, or unanswerable, or persuasive.

So, when do we speak and when do we refrain? The answers: Say nothing when you have nothing to say, or when you have said enough, or when you don’t know how to say it, or when it is the wrong time, or when it would hurt others, or when it would fall on deaf ears.

Remember, silence requires character…

Quit? Never!

"The heights by great men reached and kept, were not attained by sudden flight.  But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night."  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There is an indescribable gratification in being able to say, “I’ve done it – the thing I sought to do – I’ve done it!” It is a tribute to consistency, that stickability which carries us through our adversities and lifts us over our obstacles, even those that appear insurmountable.

Persistence wins. If you are knocked down, don’t give up – get up; and if you can’t, crawl. It is all right to stop long enough to catch your breath, but do not surrender. The victory goes not to the person who is least hit, but to the one who won’t quit.

The History of Memorial Day

According to Professor David Blight of the Yale University History Department, the first Memorial Day was observed in 1865 by liberated slaves at the historic Washington Race Course (today the location of Hampton Park) in Charleston. The site was a former Confederate prison camp as well as a mass grave for Union soldiers who died in captivity.

The freed slaves disinterred the dead Union soldiers from the mass grave, properly reposed with individual graves, built a fence around the graveyard with an entry arch and declared it a Union graveyard. A daring action for freed slaves to take such in the South just shortly after the Union's victory. On May 30, 1868, the freed slaves returned to the graveyard with flowers they had picked from the countryside and decorated the individual gravesites, thereby creating the first Decoration Day. Thousands of freed blacks and Union soldiers paraded from the area, followed by much patriotic singing and a picnic.

The official birthplace of Memorial Day is Waterloo, New York. The village was credited with being the place of origin because it observed the day on May 5, 1866, and each year thereafter. The friendship between General John Murray, a distinguished citizen of Waterloo, and General John A. Logan, who helped bring attention to the event nationwide, likely was a factor in the holiday's growth.

Logan had been the principal speaker in a citywide memorial observation on April 29, 1866, at a cemetery in Carbondale, Illinois, an event that likely gave him the idea to make it a national holiday. On May 5, 1868, in his capacity as commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, a veterans' organization, Logan issued a proclamation that "Decoration Day" be observed nationwide. It was observed for the first time on May 30 of the same year; the date was chosen because it was not the anniversary of a battle. The tombs of fallen Union soldiers were decorated in remembrance.

Many of the states of the U.S. South refused to celebrate Decoration Day, due to lingering hostility towards the Union Army and also because there were relatively few veterans of the Union Army who were buried in the South. A notable exception was Columbus, Mississippi, which on April 25, 1866 at its Decoration Day commemorated both the Union and Confederate casualties buried in its cemetery.

The alternative name of "Memorial Day" was first used in 1882. It did not become more common until after World War II, and was not declared the official name by Federal law until 1967. On June 28, 1968, the United States Congress passed the Uniform Holidays Bill, which moved three holidays from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a convenient three-day weekend. The holidays included Washington's Birthday, now celebrated as Presidents' Day; Veterans Day, and Memorial Day. The change moved Memorial Day from its traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May. The law took effect at the federal level in 1971.

After some initial confusion and unwillingness to comply, all fifty states adopted the measure within a few years. Veterans Day was eventually changed back to its traditional date. Ironically, most corporate businesses no longer close on Veterans Day, Columbus Day, or President's Day, with the day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and/or New Year's Eve often substituted as more convenient "holidays" for their employees. Memorial Day endures as a holiday which most businesses observe because it marks the beginning of the "summer vacation season."

Waterloo's designation as the birthplace took place just in time for the village's centennial observance. The U.S. House of Representatives and the Senate unanimously passed House Concurrent Resolution 587 on May 17 and May 19, 1966 respectively, which reads in part as follows:

Resolved that the Congress of the United States, in recognition of the patriotic tradition set in motion one hundred years ago in the Village of Waterloo, NY, does hereby officially recognize Waterloo, New York as the birthplace of Memorial Day...

On May 26, 1966, President Lyndon B. Johnson signed a Presidential Proclamation recognizing Waterloo as the Birthplace of Memorial Day.

Don’t Get Ready, Don’t Get Set, Just Go

“The cream of enjoyment in this life is always impromptu. The chance walk; the unexpected visit; the unpremeditated journey; the unsought conversation or acquaintance.” ~Fanny Fern

Anticipating something wonderful has its own kind of thrill, like looking forward to a long planned vacation, or meticulously selecting a special gift for a special friend. Somehow the joy is magnified – doubled really – when, after the anticipation, something wonderful happens, something truly worth the wait.

But when a thrill unexpectedly drops out of the sky, well, it’s almost a sign from somewhere ethereal. Enjoying life in an out-of-the-blue sort of way can be the perfect antidote to the rigidity that so often constricts our carefully planned movements. Too often, we mistake spontaneity for wastefulness or a sense of whimsy for silliness. Embracing spontaneity is good exercise for the creative spirit, which, like a well-toned muscle, becomes stronger and stronger over time.

In many ways, spontaneity is synonymous with creativity. When you lose the ability to be spontaneous, you risk loosing creative drive. In the workplace, many managers are engaging a creative environment. Yet, some people, especially policy lovers, are afraid of spontaneity. Unfortunately, they fail to realize that all the planning and organizing and time management can never replace what we learn when we just let life happen. A lot of life’s pleasures and once-in-a-lifetime experiences happen whether you plan them, write them down or not.

So, from time to time, leave your schedule behind. After all, the unplanned moments – the ones we can’t rehearse – are very often the richest.

Sex is not an Affirmation for Self-Esteem

The definition of self-esteem can be stated as the reputation we have with ourselves. It is not the feeling we get from a new outfit or a compliment or the need to have sex with an acquaintance or stranger to get over a relationship. New clothes, compliments, sex and all temporary lifts make us feel good for the moment, but they have a fleeting quality that needs to be reinforced as often as the tides change in our lives. These temporary fixes are not something we can count on to be with us through life's ups and downs.

Self-esteem is earned by us, for us and is not given by nature to some and not others. We are not born with a healthy self-esteem. We must acquire it if we are to walk the path of life with peace and dignity. Some of us develop a healthy self-esteem at an early age, while others work long and hard to cultivate it.

Nathaniel Branden, author of "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" and "The Psychology of Romantic Love", says there are three challenges of life. Number one is to have the ability to take independent care of ourselves. Number two is developing competence in all relationships and number three is resistance. We will all know pain and defeat, but the important element here is - get back in the ring. This is the sure sign of healthy self-esteem.

Life may knock us down, but our self-worth says the experience happened to me, but it is not who I am. Unfortunately, in far too many cases, young women with low self-esteem use sex hoping that their partner will like them or will desire them or perhaps think they are the best thing they’ve ever experienced and will want and need them forever. This is destructive behavior and is NOT solid footing for a healthy long-term relationship.

Self-esteem allows us to place a higher value on our bodies, including the ability to take care of our health by practicing safe sex and by knowing when and if we are ready to take the responsibility of becoming a parent. It permits us to place our own importance on our sexuality by knowing who we are in this area and then finding a partner who is sexually compatible.

The following statistics are eye opening:

Over 40 million (1 in 5) people have genital herpes and 20 million have genital warts. Many people have passed an STD to a sex partner without knowing it. Incidence of genital herpes in the United States has increased 30% over the past 20 years. The largest increase has occurred in Caucasians, about 1 million new cases. Furthermore, 1 in 4 Caucasian women are infected with the genital herpes. The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) showed that an estimated 56,300 new HIV infections occurred - a number that is substantially higher than the previous estimate of 40,000 annual new infections. African American women represented 66% of AIDS diagnoses in women.

According to the philosopher Ayn Rand, sex is the highest expression of love and the greatest tribute - of one’s own physical existence - that one can offer to another within the context of romantic love. Sex is the affirmation of one’s body and spirit - the union of bodies motivated by and in response to the intimate connection of minds and one’s mind is identical to one’s self.

I’ve always said the mind is the sexiest part of the human anatomy. Happy and healthy or a statistic, which would you rather be?

To Mother With Love

Photo by Stacy Borelli of Swank Photo Studio

South Louisiana’s National Impact

The ports of New Orleans, South Louisiana and Baton Rouge provide important access to world markets and sources of exported and imported raw materials. These three ports are significant to the economy of the nation. They cover 172 miles on both banks of the Mississippi River. The ports of South Louisiana, New Orleans and Baton Rouge rank third, fourth and fifteenth, respectively in total trade by port to all world ports.

According to the North American Export Grain Association, these three ports serve as a gateway for nearly 55 to 70 percent of all U.S. exported corn, soy and wheat. Barges carry these grains from the Mississippi River to the ports for storage and export. Imports to these ports include steel, coffee, fruits, vegetables, iron, metal ores, non-metallic minerals, inorganic chemicals, forest products, vegetable fats and oils, natural rubber, fertilizers and organic chemicals.

In addition, Louisiana produced – not imported - 53,034,353 barrels of crude oil in 2007. Eighteen percent of U.S. oil production originates in, is transported through or is processed in Louisiana coastal wetlands with a value of $6.3 billion a year. Almost 24 percent of U.S. natural gas production originates in or is processed in Louisiana’s coastal wetlands with a value of $10.3 billion a year.

Louisiana’s OCS (outer continental shelf) territory is the most extensively developed and matured OCS territory in the United States. It has produced 88.8 percent of the crude oil and condensate and 83.2 percent of the natural gas extracted from all federal OCS territories from the beginning of oil and gas exploration and development in the U.S.

In addition to oil and gas, Louisiana’s coastal wetlands contribute 28 percent to the total volume of U.S. fisheries.

The United States depends on the oil and gas shipped through and produced in Louisiana’s coastal zone. An economic impact study entitled “Economic Impacts of Port Fourchon on the National and Regional Economies” was recently released. Completed by Dr. Loren Scott with Loren C. Scott and Associates, the study provides evidence of the critical importance of Port Fourchon to our regional and national economies. Dr. Scott said, “We engaged in this report to find out the dollars and cents and what exactly Port Fourchon means to this country.”

According to the study, if Port Fourchon had a 3-week loss of service for any reason, it would equate to a national economic impact of $9.9 billion in sales loss, $2.9 billion in household earnings loss and over 77,000 jobs loss nationally. These figures are based on $66 barrel of oil. To paraphrase Don Pierson, Assistant Secretary of Louisiana Economic Development, “This report is a valuable tool to build the economy, assets and investments in this state. We can use this to show the Department of Homeland Security, Department of Commerce and other organizations that Louisiana ports are a major asset.”

Our recent financial debacle stemmed from greed, misappropriation of funds and the ego of many in power. The government immediately assisted a self-inflicted fiasco. Nearly five years ago, a force majeure impacted a major U.S. economic resource - South Louisiana. To date, there are many areas still uninhabitable.

Is protecting Louisiana's economic and ecological resources a trivial pursuit? Is South Louisiana a foregone conclusion? Why did BP chose to ignore what a whistleblower was about to reveal? Why did our government delay taking aggressive measures to protect one of its fragile, but abundant resources? It appears that neither the oil industry nor our government learned valuable lessons from the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989.

Once again, South Louisiana falls victim to the “if we ignore it, maybe things will clear up on their own” mentality. However, unlike Hurricane Katrina, the effects of BP oil spill will impact more than just those residing along the Gulf Coast. In addition, it is impossible to measure the devastation, as environmental consequences will continue to unfold for many years to come.

Spirit in the Sky

It’s one of the great one-hit wonders of all time. Norman Greenbaum recorded “Spirit in the Sky” in 1970. It became an instant FM sensation and rose to number three on the top-forty charts as well. Its overtly Christian message captured the ears of believers and non-believers alike.

Forget the mythical geographical references to “up” and “sky.” Do you believe that when you die you will be welcomed by a benevolent Spirit that has some presence with you now, but will be totally present and totally accepting in the next life? You may call it the Holy Spirit, the Great Spirit, Mother Spirit, Father Spirit, the Spirit of Yahweh or Jehovah, the Spirit of Jesus, the Universal Spirit, God, Goddess, or countless other names. All the names point to the same reality.  A vast majority of the world’s people believe there is a Spirit present with us in some kind of positive, protective way in this life and we will live with that Spirit in a new life after death.

If that is the case, why do we have so much pain in this life and fear death and the next life? There is a scientific principle called entropy that says that matter has a tendency to break apart, to disperse. That is also true on a mental and spiritual level. We learn things and them we forget them. We find a genuine closeness of spirit with friends, lovers, and families, and then it seems to slowly evaporate. They or we are drawn in different directions. It is similar to our relationship with the Spirit. The intensity comes and goes more often than we can imagine and when it is most distant, we tend to have the most pain in our life and fears of death.

Interestingly, the more we become influenced with the Spirit, the more connected we become to the spirits of those around us and the spirit of the earth, and the less we become burdened by the terrible fear of death. If you are asking the question, “How do you become more open to the Spirit when you seem to be disconnected for a time?” The answer is to remember the intensity of your feelings when you had peak Spirit experiences: in prayer or meditation, relationships, nature, creativity, and so on.

A Man's Heart

A man has a heart that loves, rejoices, bleeds and breaks just like that of a woman, yet he usually withholds the visible signs. Dimming any trace of vulnerability, his role in life calls for firmness and readiness for life’s battles.

In a world of conflict, he takes life’s beatings without tears or complaints, striving for those he loves. Steadily carrying on -- fighting and toiling -- he takes reproaches and praises with the same smiling face and unchecked determination. A man possesses a heart of gold, though at times, a woman may waiver in acknowledging it.

Ladies, when he least expects it, please take a moment to hug your man...he needs and deserves it!

Spring: The Season of Rebirth

Whether you are Christian celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ, Jewish celebrating Passover or Neo-Pagan celebrating the vernal equinox, spring is the season for rebirth and renewal. The season for transformation, rejuvenation and growth. Spring is a time for reflecting and doing a bit of spiritual housecleaning.

Spiritual housecleaning enables you to be the best that you can be…it does for your mind and soul what spring-cleaning does for your home. The list below is meant to stimulate thought and action:

• Strive for excellence
• Strive to acknowledge wrongdoings
• Strive to be a valuable friend
• Strive to be accountable
• Strive to be appreciative
• Strive to be charitable
• Strive to be courageous
• Strive to be diligent
• Strive to be free of negativity
• Strive to be generous
• Strive to be reliable
• Strive to be motivated
• Strive to be resilient
• Strive to be trustworthy
• Strive to live in the moment
• Strive to let go of resentment
• Strive to step up to a challenge
• Strive to love yourself more
• Strive to live with integrity
• Strive to be open-minded
• Strive to take calculated risks
• Study people of substance
• Invest in personal development
• Invest in professional development

 I hope you are inspired…have fun along your journey!

Live a Life of No Regrets

At any given moment in our lives, we are making choices. We can choose to live fully in the moment, to live our dreams, to be whom we dream of being or to ignore the still small voice inside of us that is begging to be heard -- to live life with everything we've got. Have you chosen to reach for the stars, living a life full of passion and possibilities? Or have you chosen to get really comfortable with watching your dreams pass you by and thinking about what might have been if not for those postponed and unfulfilled dreams?

Only you can make the choice to live the life of your dreams. No one else can do it for you. You won't get what you want if you leave your life to others or to a number of random occurrences rather than a number of decisions. If you want to live a fulfilling life with no regrets, you must live each day to its fullest.  Here's how:

Strengthen your mind - Knowledge facilitates richer experiences and opportunities. Push the limits and find out where your true abilities lie. The mind knows where you are and can take you to where you want to be.

Fear less, dare more - Do at least one thing every day that scares you. Don't be afraid to ask for more or reach for more. You could do it all if only you dared to go for it. Don't let fear paralyze you. All you need to do is overcome fear and dare to follow your dreams. New experiences make life richer.

Live with love and passion - Love and express love as much as you can, as often as you can. Love unconditionally, without any expectations. Be loving and passionate about yourself, others and your goals. Love and passion are motivating and inspirational.

Serve others - Be a role model or a mentor. Help others live a better life. Leave a legacy. We thrive when we feel we are valued and have left the world a better place.

Have a purpose - Purpose gives meaning to your life. It also changes your attitude about life.

Forgive - When someone has harmed you, try to understand why by putting yourself in his/her shoes. Stop holding yourself hostage -- accept that humans make mistakes, let go and move forward. Remember that forgiving does not mean forgetting and that the gift of forgiveness is for you, not the person who caused you pain. You are not protecting yourself by not forgiving, but are taking back the control over those who have hurt you. Forgiveness gives freedom from anger, bitterness and cynicism.

Be present - To be present is to have no preoccupations with past or future. Remain in the now even when focusing on the past or speculating on the future might be more tempting. Smell the roses. Savor every moment as special and appreciate the beauty in life.

Let go of the small stuff; eliminate tolerations - What you are putting up with keeps you from being yourself. Do not focus on the negative aspects of life. To prevent the little things in life from immobilizing you, lighten up, smile more, frown less and laugh generously.

Live with integrity and acceptance - To live in integrity is to have no actions that you regret, to be real to yourself and to others, and to recognize that you are special, unique, and precious. Accept and appreciate who you are and what you have, but know that you always have the opportunity to become more. Accept and appreciate others because of who they are, not in spite of who they are.

Set goals and commit to action - Decide right now that it is important to live a life of no regrets and then set goals to support your purpose and your dreams. Goals help to concentrate your focus, motivate you to expand and grow, and move you in a chosen direction.

Think about the list above, where are you proactive and where do you need a push to get going?

John’s Balcony

We laughed.

We spoke.

I sometimes cried,

he often joked.

Libations overflowed

sometimes until dawn.

He shared his emotions,

very openly

never withdrawn.

The balcony at his place

had a tree that hid a wry face.

Our comforting assuage

eased the burdens of life,

as we stood daily on its stage.

Remembering my very dear friend, John David Cochran, who passed away in August 2008. His friendship was a special gift and his spirit will live forever...

Untying Your Gordian Knots

Creativity may simply be the realization there’s no particular virtue to doing things they way they’ve always been done. ~Rudolph Flesch

In the winter of 333 B.C., Alexander the Great and his army arrived in the Asian city of Gordium to take up winter quarters. While there, Alexander heard about the legend surrounding the town’s famous knot, the “Gordian Knot.”

The story intrigued Alexander, and he asked to be taken to the knot so that he could attempt to untie it. He studied it for a bit, but after some fruitless attempts to find the rope ends, he was stymied. “How can I unfasten this knot?” he asked himself. Then he got an idea: “I will make up my own knot-untying rules.” He pulled out his sword and sliced the knot in half. Asia was fated to him.

Alexander demonstrated that when faced with a seemingly intractable problem, a very effective, creative-thinking strategy plays the revolutionary, by challenging and changing the rules.

If constructive patterns were all that were necessary for creative new ideas, we’d all be creative geniuses. Creative thinking is not only constructive, but is also destructive. Creative thinking involves breaking out of one pattern in order to create a new one.


All too often, we become ensnared by the familiar phenomenon:

• We make rules based on the reasons that they make a lot of sense.
• We follow these rules.
• Time passes, things change and the original reasons for the rules may no longer exist, but because the rules are still in place, we continue to follow them.

This week, release the ensnarement and discover just how many knots can you untie.

Choices and the People in Our Lives

After refection on choices made, there comes a point in life when one realizes the following:

• Who matters
• Who never did
• Who won't anymore
• And, who always will

Don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

As always, wishing you a wonderful week…

Grudges: The Scars of Betrayal

Grudges are the scars of betrayal. If we are not careful, those scars become an excuse for not taking a risk on love and are the basis for being unwilling to trust again. Grudges also become the excuses for not allowing ourselves to heal.

We are determined to “make sure that this will never happen to us again.” However, the moment we do that, we not only withdraw to protect ourselves, we begin to find ways to get back, get even and to get this hurt off of us.

Many marriages are polluted by leftover betrayal from past relationships. Numerous families are torn apart by scars and grudges from childhood and the lingering pain not yet overcome. If you think about it, there are many people who are wrecked by the inability to function in daily life due to scars and grudges from their past. Unfortunately, much addiction, abuse and criminal activity share this common root.

The way to remove the tenderness of the scars of betrayal - grudges - is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the spiritual plastic surgery that can remove the scars and heal pain.

Forgive, or hold on to a grudge…the choice is yours.

Positive Thinking May Lengthen Life

Want to live longer? Then think positive, researchers advise. A study of 660 volunteers ages 50 and older shows negative stereotypes about aging may have an adverse effect on longevity.

Even if you are not aware of them, subtle associations of the elderly with illness or frailty may be shortening your life by affecting your will to live, the study suggests. In fact, the scientists assert, positive self-perceptions of aging may influence lifespan more than not smoking or exercising, said lead researcher Becca Levy of Yale University's Department of Epidemiology and Public Health.

The study found that older people with more positive self-perceptions of aging, measured up to 23 years earlier, lived 7.5 years longer than those with less positive ones. "The effect of more positive self-perceptions of aging on survival is greater than the physiological measures of low systolic blood pressure and cholesterol, each of which is associated with a longer lifespan of four years or less," the authors wrote in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "It is also greater than the independent contributions of lower body mass index, no history of smoking and a tendency to exercise; each of these factors has been found to contribute between one and three years of added life."

The History of Valentine’s Day

February 14th is Valentine's Day. Currently celebrated as a holiday for lovers, it actually originated in 5th Century Rome, as a tribute to a Catholic bishop. 

For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.

In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box; however, the game was changed to emulating the ways of the saint drawn. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.

Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in 270 AD had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.

Claudius determined that married men made poor soldiers, banned marriage from his empire. In spite of this, Valentine would secretly marry the young men and women that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he tried to convert him to paganism, but Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.

During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.

Although the church banned the lottery, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was stilled used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.

The first Valentine card grew out of this practice. Charles, Duke of Orleans, sent the first true Valentine card in 1415 to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London.

Cupid, another symbol of the holiday, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Even today, Cupid often appears on Valentine cards.

Wishing you and yours a very happy Valentine’s Day!