The Power of Words

In her poem, When Silence is Beyond Words, Ouida states:

There may be moments in friendship, as in love, when silence is beyond words. The faults of our friend may be clear to us, but it is well to seem to shut our eyes to them. Friendship is usually treated by the majority of people as a thing that will survive all manner of bad treatment. But this is an exceedingly great and foolish error; it may die in an hour of a single unwise word; its conditions of existence are that it should be dealt with delicately and tenderly, being as it is a sensible plant and not a roadside thistle. We must not expect our friend to be above humanity.

Her message is paramount, yet many are oblivious to the powerful impact of words. Caustic words spoken (or received) tainted with sarcasm, irritation, anger or frustration, do carry an emotional punch. Words create impressions, images and expectations. They build psychological connections. They influence how we think. Since thoughts determine actions, there's a powerful connection between the words we use and the results we get.

"Think before you speak," is a colloquialism common to many, practiced by few. The consequence of a misspoken word scars far deeper than physical affliction ... the pain lingers and haunts.

Well chosen words offer hope, impact thinking and alter results. In fact, you might be surprised how much it does.

Reputation and Character

Seeing these two words together, we often mistakenly believe that you cannot have one without the other.

Reputation is what others think of us. It is the opinion held by others concerning who we are and the motives they believe we have in doing what we do. We can have a "good" reputation, or a "bad" reputation. A reputation, good or bad, is only in the eye of the beholder.

Much more valuable is our character. Character is who we are when no one is looking. It is not just the face in the mirror, but the "face behind the face". A person with impeccable character remains rock solid when standing in the face of false accusations, insinuations, slander and ridicule. Even though the hurt is real, character will never allow despair to take hold and bring one to defeat.

Reputations come and go. Character will hold you through the storms … develop character and you will never have regrets.

Living by Design: Your Personal Vision/Mission Statement

As the popular 1996 film Jerry Maguire opens, the title character is wrestling with a number of issues that make him question who he has become. These issues offend his set of values.

In the opening scenes, sports agent Maguire goes so far as to say he hates himself--and then corrects himself to say he hates his place in the world.

So, he writes what he calls a mission statement, "a suggestion for the future of our company." Among the values he talks about in the mission statement are the "simple pleasures," "protecting clients in health and injury," "caring," and being "the me I always wanted to be." He harkens back to his mentor, Dickie Fox, who said sports agentry is all about personal relationships.

Above all, the mission statement inspires him to say: "I'd started my life." As the film progresses, and the mission statement turns out not to be well received by his company, we realize that what Maguire has written is a personal mission statement for his own life rather than for his company - a suggestion for the future of his own life.

Jerry Maguire said that people in his business, including himself, had forgotten about what was important. Writing a personal mission statement offers the opportunity to establish what's important and perhaps make a decision to stick to it before we even start a career. Or, it enables us to chart a new course when we're at a career crossroads.

Your personal mission statement should answer three questions:
What is my life about (purpose)?
What do I stand for (values)?
What actions do I take to manifest my purpose and my values?

Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People explains that an empowering mission statement represents the deepest and best within you. It comes out of a solid connection with your deep inner life. It’s the expression of your unique capacity to contribute. It addresses and integrates the four fundamental human needs and capacities in the physical, social/emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions. It represents a lifetime balance of personal, family, work, community - whatever roles you feel are yours to fill. It is written to inspire YOU – NOT to impress anyone else.

Covey writes, "Creating a personal mission statement will be, without question, one of the most powerful and significant things you will ever do to take leadership of you life. In it you will identify the most important roles, relationships, and things in your life - who you want to be, what you want to do, to whom and what you want of give your life, the principles you want to anchor your life to, the legacy you want to leave. All the goals and decisions you will make in the future will be based upon it. It’s like deciding first which wall you want to lean your ladder of life against, and then beginning to climb. It will be a compass - a strong source of guidance amid the stormy seas and pressing, pulling currents of you life."

Covey refers to crafting a mission statement as "connecting with your own unique purpose and the profound satisfaction that comes in fulfilling it."

Sounds pretty close to what Jerry Maguire did, doesn't it?