The Art of Appreciation

Feeling genuinely appreciated lifts people up. At the most basic level, it makes us feel safe, which is what encourages us to do our best. It's also energizing. When our value feels at risk, worry becomes preoccupying.  This drains and diverts our energy from creating value.

Oddly, we are often more experienced at expressing negative emotions—reactively and/or defensively, without recognizing the corrosive impact on others until much later, if we do at all. How unfortunate, because the impact of negative emotions—specifically the feeling of being devalued—is incredibly toxic.

The more specific you can be about what you value—the more you notice what is meaningful—the more positive your impact is likely to be.

We are all more vulnerable and needy than we would like to imagine. Authentically appreciating others will make you feel better about yourself, and it will also increase the likelihood they'll invest more in you. The human instinct for reciprocity runs deep.

Lets face it, once the infatuation days are over, appreciation seems to get shoved into a shoe box under the bed! The power of appreciation is a very POWERFUL thing! The fact is, relationships take a lot of work. It’s all about the things we do to make the other person feel IMPORTANT.

It’s so easy to take each other for granted and to get caught up in a pattern of not expressing your appreciation of each other. So what can you do to really let your partner know how grateful you are for everything that he/she does?

The first step is to think about the special things your partner does for you … not just physical things like taking out the garbage, or making your favorite dinner, but the way that he/she is sensitive to your feelings, or makes an effort to be respectful to you. It’s all the little (as well as the big) things that count.

Once you have these things in mind, it is really easy for you to appreciate your partner, and to show him/her how much everything they do means to you.

Relationships are also about LISTENING. You can’t really appreciate anything if you never listen to each other, right? The gift of listening is one of the best gifts money CAN’T buy!

Never play the blame game. If you blame someone in a relationship and never stop to think about what you do wrong, you’ll never get anywhere. Remember, it takes two to tango, and it takes two to work together to build a lasting relationship!