The Look

You’ve seen the look--that over-the-top nonverbal form of expression.  It silently admonishes, puts a child firmly in his or her place, and stops the most verbose from opening their mouths.  Maybe you’ve been the object of such looks, or perhaps you’re a master at delivering this inaudible form of communication.  All things considered, the following might even be registered in some obscure section of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office: “Don’t even think of touching that!” or “I can’t believe what you just said!” or this ever so popular glance, “Don’t even go there!”

The troubling part of this voiceless vernacular isn’t necessarily the look itself, but rather our childlike reaction to it.  As a child, I was rattled by the look.  Even now, I am startled by its power.  The irony, of course, is that I usually return the favor with one of my own wide-eyed faces that says, ”Yes? Do you have something to say to me?”

Communicating with our features may be all we have in some instances.  Yet, when we use the look to belittle others, instead of using words to educate or inform them, we are not being kind to them or ourselves.

Most nonverbal cues--warm and welcoming touches, smiles, or a sympathetic nod--are like the colorful and sweet sprinkles we toss on cupcakes.  They enhance human interaction.

But, the glaring and rolling of the eyes are another story.  We’ve all heard the advice as kids--ignore it--but as we all know, it can be a difficult task.  But, think about this … how much more energy does it take to react to a look instead of keeping that look at bay and disallowing it from entering your frame of mind?

It may not feel meditative, but letting it pass will help you get on to the things that are much more important.  The next time someone tries to rattle you with the look, mentally draw a mustache above the lips, and if you have the time, scribble a couple of horns and a tail, too ;-)