Synergy is the simultaneous action of separate people in which, together, have a greater total effect than the sum of their individual powers. When in love, it is quite possible to confuse synergy with infatuation’s temporary insanity, thus repeating relationship patterns that are less than healthy.
Recognizing relationship patterns is one of the most difficult, enlightening and liberating tasks we can do for ourselves. It takes self-honesty and objectivity, which can be quite painful and embarrassing. However, the payoff is liberating and fulfilling. Once we figure out that relationships aren’t random events that happen, but are a result of our own patterns, we can reclaim our power and remind ourselves that we are the authors writing our chapter in the book of life.
There is a saying about patterns that holds true, “When you do what you did, you get what you got.” One must accept responsibility for the connection between what you do and what you get. By taking a long, hard look at the people around you and an even harder look at yourself, you will realize that no one is in our lives that we haven’t chosen to let in.
Before the temporary insanity of infatuation sets in, it is imperative to find out the character of the person you are inviting into your life. Ask questions and pay very close attention to the answers. Then, pay even closer attention to whether or not the answers match the person’s behavior. When there is a difference between what they say and how they behave, ignore the words and believe the behavior!
Someone who claims to believe in the importance of honesty would not lie. Someone who believes in commitment would not cheat. Someone who claims to be respectful would never demean or trivialize you or what is important to you.
Think long, hard and choose wisely…
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