Your view of the world around you is a reflection of the world you have created within. The world you experience is an extension of your mind. Any level of peace or stress you experience, is directly related to the level of peace or stress or within your mind. If you are at peace with yourself, the world will appear peaceful. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve made, knowing that you are no longer what you were in the past. Every moment, there is a new you born and you are living in this present moment with a new you.
Forgive others and you will set yourself free from all you thought they did to you. In fact, they need not ask for forgiveness to be forgiven. They might even believe that there is nothing for which they need to be forgiven. Do not concern yourself with how they choose to experience reality, for it has no effect on you, unless you allow it. For something or someone to affect you, you must first allow it to affect you.
You can also choose not to forgive, but what good has such behavior ever brought to your life? You might be trying to consciously or even unconsciously punish someone by not forgiving him or her. Who are you really punishing? Who’s carrying that judgment around? You might not consciously recall that you are carrying judgment, but it is simmering below the surface, coloring everything and everyone with whom you interact. Little by little, judgments add up and weigh you down. You’re quick to anger, feel tired and stressed and may not understand why. Comments to others may become nasty and your patience fades. This is a result of your attempt to punish and not forgive. Think about it … who are you really punishing?
To paraphrase Max Lucado, "Anger is a predictable emotion, an irritant, a frustration, and an aggravation? Someone gets your parking place. Someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. A waitress is slow and you are in a hurry. The toast burns. Before you know it, little irritations turn into rage, revenge, bitterness and hatred. We trust no one and bare our teeth at anyone who gets near. Is that any way to live? What good has hatred ever brought? What hope has anger ever created? What problems have ever been resolved by revenge?"
Knowing 'why' is not the prerequisite to forgiveness. Knowing why the behavior happened will not lessen the pain, because the pain came at a time when you did not know why. Occasionally there are times when knowing why makes forgiveness unnecessary, but they are rare.
A solution to consider…make a list of what was actually done that caused your pain; not what you felt was done. Acknowledge your part. Were you honest about your hurt or did you hide the fact that the behavior hurt you? Did you seek peace by reassuring the perpetrator that it was all right? Did you stay when you or should have gone? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, acknowledge you behavior and take responsibility for the ramifications of your actions.
Congratulations! You took the first step to stop being a victim!
Special thanks to Glen Warner for sharing his beautiful photographs with me. http://tinyurl.com/Glen-Warner
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